Friday, December 02, 2005

Again with the Connelly

What a strange night at the bar last night. For one thing, the opening act was the very first gig for Miss Alexa Joel, yes, daughter of Billy and Christie Brinkley. And yes, Dad did come to support his progeny. Oh, he snuck in the back door and was hiding under an oversized hoodie, which may not have been necessary. I don’t think my bar is overrun with Billy Joel fans. Hey, if people left Frodo alone, they’d probably give the Piano Man space. I only got to see a few minutes of Alexa’s performance, but she definitely takes after Dad more than Mom. Interpret as you will.

But what happened at the very end of the night was even more bizarre. My Thursday night barback, Neel (Hoboken’s most beloved Indian bartender) was chatting with some friends of his as the topic of Celebrity Hotness came up. The issue of “who would you bang” naturally followed, and I was a bit taken aback by Neel’s answer: “Kiera Knightly.” Hell, I don’t even know to SPELL that and don’t feel like bothering to check! Neel! She’s a CHILD! A forgettable speck on the roster of unattainable pulchritude! Shoot higher! Neel’s young friend professed a desire for Charlize Theron, which is much better, but when I offered up my eternal impossible selection, the reaction shocked me.

“No contest, Jennifer Connelly,” I said, confident that everyone would concur.
“What are you, FORTY?” Neel’s pal said with a slight scowl.
“...Actually, yes, I am,” I responded, far less offended by the dig at my early middle age than the notion that Jennifer Connelly isn’t lustworthy! We’re not talking about Angie Dickinson here, Connelly is in no way past her prime...


Kids these days. Wouldn’t know Hot if it bit ‘em in the Britney.

8 comments:

MegoSteve said...

She doesn't look terribly appealing in that picture, unfortunately.

Kalli "Pops" Gustav said...

are you free fine wine knocked out koo-koo groovy wind in your hair? She looks incredible in that photo! Ah, subjectivity. How I love your vicious reign.

Miss Tanya said...

Her eyes are freaking me out. She looks crazy!

fuzzco said...

I would do her.

MegoSteve said...

I just think she needs a sandwich or something. She looks too hard. Compare that with her younger, softer self in Career Opportunities. Of course, I looked better 15 years ago, too.

And tanya's right... the eyes are creepy. The eyes coupled with her unhealthy thinness make me imagine her shambling along the street moaning for brains.

Mike Epps said...

what about Molly Ringwald...? heh hee

Mike "40 is the new 30" Epps

{ mlepps@optonline.net }

Miss Tanya said...

Have you seen Molly lately? In person? "Hi Mom!"

Getting old blows.

Anonymous said...

There are no finer eyes on a woman anywhere! Open up your own, and you'll see... If she looked at me with those incredible green orbs, I'd have a bona fide coronary, straight off the bat!