Thursday, June 01, 2006

Irony-Free Used Baby Clothes

This weekend marked the second anniversary of the start of my anonymous hate mail, so I just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge all of my detractors and say hope you had a happy, judgment free weekend! Now let’s roll!

Yes, I did return to Lancaster PA for the Memorial Day festivities, including the annual Landisville / Salunga flea marketing / used baby clothes liquidation (no photos this year, sorry). I didn’t get much stuff (I rarely do)... a few old Archie comics, a weird Peter Parker / Spidey Sense fast food figure (for a dime!) and an old Bugs Bunny 78rpm record. But it’s always more about the ritual and the tradition than acquisitions.

As always, however, there were moments that made me feel like my conservative little hometown was buried in the Ozarks.
I heard people intone “Git ‘er done” three times, followed by huge, snack-stuffed belly-guffawing. Four times, if you count the guy who overheard me tell Gary about it and chimed in with “Yeah! Git ‘er done! Ha ha ha ha!” For those of you who are happily uninitiated, “Git ‘er done” is the catch phrase of Larry the Cable Guy, the aughts version of Ernest P. Worrell... only less funny.

Additionally, I did hear one guy manning a table full of crap say to a customer, “Deal... or no deal?” and everyone around him laughed heartily. Thankfully, that was the only time I heard that ode to a stupid game show that doesn’t even ask questions, but I’m certain it was said many times by many folks.

It’s always initially refreshing to return to a largely irony-free zone. But then I reach a point where I desperately need to hear some stranger make fun of something, anything, even if it’s me! But the unquestioning apathy of the consumer is so ingrained that even a table full of really ugly T-shirts with inspirational sayings hand-painted on them passes muster.

I mean, one man’s trash is another’s treasure and all that, but come on. There’s absolutely no reason anyone should stick a price tag on a decade old 10k modem, an unused bottle of salad dressing from 2004 or a McDonalds Smurf glass with a crack in it.

I’ve been so busy I barely have time to eat these days, so I’m just gonna gloss over some other stuff. X-Men: The Last Stand lacks any of the style, substance or emotional resonance of the prior two films. It’s just LOUD. Brett Ratner truly does suck. • As every year, I’m already sick of the heat, two days in. • This week, I bought a pair of Converse All-Stars for the first time in over a decade. • VICE Magazine’s Comics Issue proves without a doubt that most alternative cartoonists suck just as much as most mainstream ones. An almost endless gallery of unfunny strips about poo and pussy. Only works by Dave Cooper (also toiling in that genre, but with his usual panache), Steven Weissman and John Kershbaum elicit any appreciation. Features on cartoonists’ tools and collector geeks are more entertaining than anything else in this ish of the snide hipster mag. • And, finally, I miss all of my programs.

1 comment:

MegoSteve said...

VICE Magazine’s Comics Issue proves without a doubt that most alternative cartoonists suck just as much as most mainstream ones.

I'm going to have to use that line sometime, because it's so true. I read through Fantagraphics' Free Comic Book Day comic and it was just terrible. It's pretty sad when the high point of an alternative anthology is a series of single page gags about Darth Vader.